her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
