What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
