I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
