Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Terrible idea I love it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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