..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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