i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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