that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
