what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize