I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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