i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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