You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
