You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
