remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
