I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
