It's like God shit irony all over that family
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
