So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
