I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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