I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize