Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
