then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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