Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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