Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
