wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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