I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
