Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
