Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
