Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
