can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm really busy with my period
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