ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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