so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize