Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
