lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
