I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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