I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
