I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
