She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
