He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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