he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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