If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
