So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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