I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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