Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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