even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize