She's JV to your varsity
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
