Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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