i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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