I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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