halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
