Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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