Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
