Only a mothe r could love this liver
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
