im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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