I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
