It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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