so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
