I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
